“You could take your kids to a restaurant or just cut the middle man & just spill a drink, throw crayons under the table and light $40 on fire.” @simoncholland

So, there are many moments in which my main focus is not upon Valentina and her hearing. Well, perhaps that is a fabrication of the truth, however there are many moments when I sit and wonder what behaviors are a result of her hearing and what is due to the typical 3yr old hurricane.

Was thinking of attaching one of those key chains to her backpack: “Zero to 100 in 3.5 seconds”, but then I realized it may be more like 1.5 and well, can’t have her walking around with false advertisement. 😅

A few weekends ago, a girlfriend and I had plans to take our girls to Paw Patrols Live. We had an even more genius idea (insane moment) to attempt a quick luncheon before the show. A family restaurant chain. You know, the one’s with that really fabulous fancy moveable screen where you no longer need a waitress to take your order, pay your tab or approximate tip.

If you’re a parent of a 3 year old, you also may know that is hurricane number one. I’ll refer to that as Comedy Act #1 AKA Hurricane Anderson. Might as well start with A, as Hurricane Zane will not take too long to follow.

The screen is cool, says a three year old, but not my three year old, because her vocabularly has not yet reached a place to express just how neat it is she can press and purchase a game (3 actually) for $1.99/ea. My reflexes may never be as fast as my daughter on a mischivious mission. In 30 seconds or less decides three games later she has a desire to move to the dessert menu, grunting and whining that she can not select chocolate cake; Hurricane Bruce.

Needless to say that lovely piece of technology wound up falling under the table along with a crayon, both breaking and two mommys who were finagling who would hide it and who would distract the girls with the next phase. Coloring.

Hurricane Cassidy shortly thereafter, Mr. Crayon broke, and although 4 more crayons existed, of course the broken one was the only one my child had an interest in operating.

Then there was selecting lunch, that of course went without being eaten, two potty breaks and a party under the table on the filthy floor.

Ever wonder why restaurants create booths so darn small? Don’t they have children? Don’t they know that children will ALWAYS find a way to squeeze under that little opening between our laps and the table, despite the fact us parents then spend the rest of the time battling Hurricane Dandy. “You’re going to hit you’re heads, get up off the floor, here is some sanitizer, come sit down…” All ends with one in tears because their stuffed animal was wet.

Why does it seem as though in those moments, when we are now sweating, feeling exhausted and laughing inwardly, (wondering why on earth we do this) we then look around and see every other child coloring politely? ! Bribery. Must be Bribery. Ha.

Truth be told, if we all just shared our huricane stories, we may realize we are all in this together.

We’re all somewhere in the vicinity of the eye of the storm in this journey of life.

Be well.

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